Fantasy Dud time!

Alright, on to the duds. These are the players that you think are going to do well but...no. I'm sorry. It's not going to happen. And both of these guys (and runner-ups) will be gone by the 6th round. So YOU'RE DRAFTING THEM TOO EARLY. Let somebody else do it and chuckle to yourself every time you see the box score the next day. (And don't forget to get extreme satisfaction out of watching the idiot that took them too early slide in the standings). Of course, once again you should remember that it's probably best to do exactly the opposite of what I say here. Enough talking, let's just got on to these picks:

Fantasy Dud (you seriously suck!) (Offense): Nelson Cruz, Rangers. There's going to be some idiot that see's the 33 HR, 20 SB, that potent Texas offense and that ballpark, and see's absolutely no way they could go wrong drafting Cruz. You know it's going to happen. You also know this: they are wrong. He strikes out more than Brick at the pants party. He's had ONE good year. He batted only .260. Did I mention he's only had ONE good year? And you know what else? Someone will take him in the 6th round. He's a poor man's Adam Dunn. But Dunn is more consistent and will still give you 20 more RBIs, 10-15 points higher BA, and you can know exactly what you're going to get. AND you will take him 3 rounds later than Cruz. W.T.F. Sure, Dunn won't get those 20 steals. Who cares? Pick up a speedster off the waiver wire when you're cleaning up your lineup a week after the draft. Runner Ups: Ichiro, Lance Berkman


Fantasy Dud (you seriously suck!) (Starting Pitcher): Javier Vazquez, Yankees. Remember the last time this dude was in Yankee pinstripes? That went really well! Look, that's not even the real issue here. What I should have said is - remember Javier's fun time in the AL? I think he gave one decent season to the White Sox. (It surely wasn't given to the Yankees.) He cruises in the NL. The AL - not so much. And he's jumping right into the AL East - the scariest division in all the land*. (*Honestly, take the Blue Jays out of the equation and an argument can be made that if you took any other one of the teams and plopped them in ANY other division they could win it. Yep, even the Orioles. But I'll save that for another day, another discussion.) I wouldn't take him in front of Josh Johnson, Matt Cain, or even Tommy Hanson. But someBODY is going to do it. Don't let that idiot be you. Runner Ups: Chris Carpenter, Justin Verlander

Next up: Sleepers. It's absolutely impossible to win in a competitive league if you don't snag a couple winning sleepers in the mid to late rounds. With that thought in mind, remember Jake Peavy? I'll throw a couple names out there (and withhold a few too...I haven't even drafted yet in my league that matters! WTF am I doing?), and tell you when they deserve to be taken, when they will be taken, and all that good stuff.